As is tradition at Bearhole, we’re sending you a postcard from our headquarters each new season.
This year CEO Dick Weyls installed a ski slope in his backyard. There’s also a sasquatch. Can you dig it?
Enjoy the winter views and have an average 2019!
Dick Weyls addressed his employees at the Weyls Tower this afternoon with a message of tranquility, that soon escalated into shameless despair. His self-constructed iceberg from earlier this year has suffered greatly from the recent springtime temperatures. Rising water levels have flooded the editorial office, making quality blog content impossible for the upcoming months.
It gets worse. Dick sees his holiday plans go up in smoke, but also faces a period of severe mopping. Says the CEO: “No one predicted the temperature would rise again. Last thing I knew I was drinking a hot cuppa in the Yeti bar. Now we’re talking 20 degrees! I mean for God’s sake. Climate change, right!?”
But this Dick is definitely not right, says Bearhole climate expert Jimmy Thundercloud. “Our recent calculations show that the rise in temperatures is a yearly phenomenon. Then again, our other recent calculations show that the moon is made out of peanut butter. So what do we really know?”.
by Bobby Rundfunk for Bearholepress
In a trademark act of pure lunacy, CEO Dick Weyls has ordered 5000 tons of premium Alpine snow to create skiing opportunities at the Bearhole Headquarters.
“If I can’t go to the Alps, the Alps come to me” laughs Weyls when contacted by the web staff. But it’s a sour laugh, because the Bearhole General Assembly has put a brutal restriction on the CEO’s holidays for 2018. “I totally misunderstood the holiday regime,” explains an apologetic Dick later on. “Apparently, we had 3 official holidays in 2017. I thought we only had to work for 3 days. Tomato, tomato, right!?”
The holiday restriction is sad news for Dick, but great news for snow delivery service Yeti & Sons. The small Swiss company sees a massive rise in profits thanks to this order. “We’ve been transporting snow all week,” explains top employee Wärner Yeti. “Together with my son Björn Yeti we’ve managed to create a perfect slope next to Mr. Weyls’ office. I am a happy and proud Yeti.”
