Dick Weyls News

Dick Weyls on 2020

Esteemed aficionados,

The ink of my latest speech has barely dried, yet here I am once again dipping my quill in a creamy and surprisingly pungent mélange for this year’s edish. An utterly annoying task for which I receive very little in terms of respect and remuneration. However, it is my duty to inform you about the State of the Bear, the Hole and its Engagement – if only to keep investors elated and shareholders at bay.

Luckily this Dick can be delighted when forced to look back at 2020. There has been a favourable wind blowing through our otherwise rather damp headquarters. This is partly due to firing Stinky Samantha back in August, and partly because of fresh content production and prosperous website results.

Our statistics prove it: 2020 is the second most successful year in Bearhole history. We’re counting 1670 website visits and 26 original productions, easily the highest numbers since 2016. For these achievements I should give a warm shoutout and many credits to my beloved staff. Unfortunately I cannot do that, because the merit is indeed to be found entirely within myself. My decisive dicktatorship ignited such triumphs as:

– our new iconic logo;
– digital comics starring Bakkermans and Papzak Pjotr;
Farty Pigmac in Congatronics;
Gevederde Arend in Tempel Penetratie;
– the online flagship store ;
– a first Bearhole t-shirt in 5 years;
– unique street art productions.

In the end, what pleases me most is not this list of stupendous attainments, but my chunky paycheck at the end of the month. Combined of course with your continuous support, warmth and enthusiasm. My gratitude to you for keeping your Bearhole Engagement high throughout the year and beyond.

I raise my glass, not too high, but at mediocre height, reflecting the tempered ambitions I have for Bearhole in 2021.

Wishing you a crispy end of the year,

Dick Weyls

Previous addresses by CEO Dick Weyls

CEO Dick Weyls on 2019
CEO Dick Weyls on 2018
CEO Dick Weyls on 2017 (missing)
CEO Dick Weyls on 2016
CEO Dick Weyls on 2015
CEO Dick Weyls on 2014 (missing)
CEO Dick Weyls on 2013


New Year’s Speech

Dearest Crew,

During the last couple of months I have been calculating the distance between the Moon, Neptune and Jupiter. My detailed arithmetics brought me to the conclusion that, once again, a year has flown by. A year characterized by continuous growth, crucial impact investments and a radical progress in terms of brand awareness and climate prosperity. For Hyundai, that is. Bearhole, on the other hand, has not really achieved anything.

But let us not focus all too much on “achievements” here. What is an “achievement” anyway, if not a gratifying accomplishment or a performance of great quality? Ridiculous. Let one thing be clear: Bearhole has never pursued these so called “achievements”. On the contrary; we tend to focus more on realizing goals, fulfilling objectives and completing tasks. I do not see the relevance of “achievements” in our story, whatsoever.

Leaving this confusing paragraph aside, I am but to be a proud CEO whilst looking back at 2013. I feel like we have been working with great passion, endurance, grinta, and of course a lot of vista. We have grown as a team, and more importantly, as a business striving for profits in an ever-shrinking market.

Looking at our future, I see a lot of possibilities, as well as an enormous hungry grey wolf craving to chew on my balls. But enough about my pet. It is without any doubt true that 2014 will be an enticing, tasty, yes maybe even a crispy year for Bearhole. Nevertheless, before I embark on a well-deserved five month holiday trip to my luxury resort in Addis Ababa, I would like to stress the importance of hard work and humidity.

It is with a cordiality of grand proportions that I am concluding this passionate letter, wishing you the greatest of luck in yet another “new” year, indeed the newest year up until now, as one might properly say, and as my recent calculations have confirmed. Allow me to bestow you with an everlasting sincerity, as well as an open hearted greeting of candor and a wish of prosperity.

As Dick as I will ever be,

CEO at large
Director of the Bearhole General Assembly
Senior Advisor to the Bearhole Fashion Team
Supervisor of Squirrelmail Communications

Inventor of the wheel (citation needed)