New Year’s Speech

Dearest Crew,

During the last couple of months I have been calculating the distance between the Moon, Neptune and Jupiter. My detailed arithmetics brought me to the conclusion that, once again, a year has flown by. A year characterized by continuous growth, crucial impact investments and a radical progress in terms of brand awareness and climate prosperity. For Hyundai, that is. Bearhole, on the other hand, has not really achieved anything.

But let us not focus all too much on “achievements” here. What is an “achievement” anyway, if not a gratifying accomplishment or a performance of great quality? Ridiculous. Let one thing be clear: Bearhole has never pursued these so called “achievements”. On the contrary; we tend to focus more on realizing goals, fulfilling objectives and completing tasks. I do not see the relevance of “achievements” in our story, whatsoever.

Leaving this confusing paragraph aside, I am but to be a proud CEO whilst looking back at 2013. I feel like we have been working with great passion, endurance, grinta, and of course a lot of vista. We have grown as a team, and more importantly, as a business striving for profits in an ever-shrinking market.

Looking at our future, I see a lot of possibilities, as well as an enormous hungry grey wolf craving to chew on my balls. But enough about my pet. It is without any doubt true that 2014 will be an enticing, tasty, yes maybe even a crispy year for Bearhole. Nevertheless, before I embark on a well-deserved five month holiday trip to my luxury resort in Addis Ababa, I would like to stress the importance of hard work and humidity.

It is with a cordiality of grand proportions that I am concluding this passionate letter, wishing you the greatest of luck in yet another “new” year, indeed the newest year up until now, as one might properly say, and as my recent calculations have confirmed. Allow me to bestow you with an everlasting sincerity, as well as an open hearted greeting of candor and a wish of prosperity.

As Dick as I will ever be,

CEO at large
Director of the Bearhole General Assembly
Senior Advisor to the Bearhole Fashion Team
Supervisor of Squirrelmail Communications

Inventor of the wheel (citation needed)

Farty Pigmac

Happy Holidays!

The Christmas Story
The legend goes that Farty Pigmac transforms into Farty Christmac on the 25th of December.
A Merry Christmas from the Bearhole Crew and Farty Christmac
A Merry Christmas from the Bearhole Crew and Farty Christmac!



People With Beards


There’s a lot of people with beards
Ooh it’s a strange thing
Shouldn’t we erase them?


A Transfer To Graham Production
Chords utilized: Am, Cmaj7, Dm

Grimhoofd Broodzwaard

De Gulden Tien – Editie 1

Hallo krijgers!

Toen ik afgelopen woensdag op mijn fjord de drakkars aan het uitlaten was, had ik geen idee wat mij te wachten stond. Uit het niets, vergezeld van een donkere wind vervuld van doem en duivenkak, kwam een sms binnen van mijn oude penpal Dick Weyls. Verbaasd opende ik mijn blackberry, en las een duister testament vervuld van wanhoop en noodlot.

De queeste werd mij, Grimhoofd Broodzwaard, laatste der Vleesbulten, opgelegd om een lijst van tien epische schtrijdliederen samen te stellen, en dan eventueel in een brandende vuurberg te dumpen. Toch van geen kleintje vervaard, huiverde ik bij een taak die even hopeloos als overbodig scheen.

Edoch, na enkele eeuwen naarstig peinzen vergezeld van mij trouwe eland Keutelbrein is onderstaande lijst de condensatie mijner arbeid, de drek in het metaforische bierglas.

Tot uw dienst,

Broodzwaard, G.


Introducing the Characters

Every big company thrives on the work of a handful trusted employees.
However, since Bearhole is not a company, nor a provider of employment, the sentence above has no relevance whatsoever.

Putting this needless paragraph aside, it is important to note that Bearhole wouldn’t exist without a group of well-read opinion leaders, the ‘crème-de-la-crème’ of our present-day intelligence.

Introducing Dick Weyls, Grimhoofd Broodzwaard, Bobby Rundfunk, Edgar Allan Joe, and guests.