Piping trouble

Press release on recent piping troubles

– Adapted by Bobby Rundfunk for bearholepress –

SWEDEN HQ – Bearhole’s pipenetwork has been experiencing severe problems during  the last few weeks.  The pipenetwork, a series of highly complex structures forming the backbone of all Bearhole activities, failed to deliver a large amount of  crucial content to the general public. It thereby caused a sudden lack of essential knowledge in a nutshell amongst certain Bearhole intimates.

Fragment of the Bearhole piping

 Although a part of the network was recently washed, rumours are spreading about the piping being  heavily rusted, with some critics even stating that A Bearhole Engagement might fully collapse within the next  two  to four months.  The pipe-related troubles explain of course the lack of content-flow during the last few weeks, as well as the huge delay in wardrobe deliveries to certain Bearhole clients.

On a related note, very recently information was leaked about several pipes being fully packed with bagels. This information can possibly be linked to the recent Bagelgate scandal, in which CEO Dick Weyls ordered an uncomfortable amount of Bagels at the Bearhole Headquarters, leaving the enterprise with a huge storage deficit, as well as snack-related budgetary concerns.

The CEO appears unavailable for comments. (BR)

 (BR) for bearholepress

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