CEO preaches tranquility as home-made iceberg melts at lightning speed
Dick Weyls addressed his employees at the Weyls Tower this afternoon with a message of tranquility, that soon escalated into shameless despair. His self-constructed iceberg from earlier this year has suffered greatly from the recent springtime temperatures. Rising water levels have flooded the editorial office, making quality blog content impossible for the upcoming months.
It gets worse. Dick sees his holiday plans go up in smoke, but also faces a period of severe mopping. Says the CEO: “No one predicted the temperature would rise again. Last thing I knew I was drinking a hot cuppa in the Yeti bar. Now we’re talking 20 degrees! I mean for God’s sake. Climate change, right!?”
But this Dick is definitely not right, says Bearhole climate expert Jimmy Thundercloud. “Our recent calculations show that the rise in temperatures is a yearly phenomenon. Then again, our other recent calculations show that the moon is made out of peanut butter. So what do we really know?”.
by Bobby Rundfunk for Bearholepress