Brundfunk Airlines grounds entire fleet

With the coronavirus spreading rapidly, the infamous airline company founded by reporter Bobby Rundfunk will keep all planes on the ground for the upcoming weeks.

“We will be taking no unnecessary risks”, explains Rundfunk in a brief press statement. “Flying itself is tricky enough, considering the state of our planes. Seriously, have you seen those wrecks? Now, with this virus coming into play, that’s just too much to handle.”

CEO Dick Weyls is surprised about the measures, when asked for a quick reply. “Virus? That’s the first thing I hear about it” reports the strong man behind Bearhole. “But for me, safety comes first. That’s why I’ve been quarantining myself in Hawaii for the past six months.”

Weyls does confirm he will be taking extra precautions for his staff as well. “I’m urging Bearhole employees to work from home these coming weeks. We’ll be further assessing the situation very closely, on a week-to-month basis.”

by Jacques Prélude for Bearholepress

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